Lest y'all think my life is perfect, I'll let you know that I am typing this missive from a cold hard floor in the most fugliest of judicial administration buildings in the bowels of Jersey City.  That's right...jury duty.  And while most normal people would groan and moan about this esteemed civic duty, I actually welcome the diversion from Wall Street and my metrosexual infested job environs.  I have never done jury duty so I was dreaming up all sorts of hot Law and Order type scenarios...I'm holding onto that slim hope as it is now 3:10pm and we have yet to even go through the voix dire selection question and answer. 

First I nearly went through a full cavity search just to get into fugly building.  Then I spent a good two and a half hours waiting in a very hot and crowded room to have my name called.  Then it was shuffle off in the world's smallest and slowest elevator into a (another hot) court room where we got to hear what we were in for.  Then I got to watch 75% of the jurors try to get themselves excused from this case.  I was not one of the 75% and there's a good reason.  If something ever happened where I found myself on the other side of that swinging little door flap, I would hope to hell that my so called peers were going to be there for me and not trying to worm their way out of an obligation due to hang nail or broken hair follicle.  So what do you know...JeAnne does place value on doing the right thing.  Plus my boss urged me to find a way out of it and in the famous words of Faith in Buffy's body, "I won't do that..it's just *wrong*."

So next it was lunch time and now a bunch of new jurors were called to pussy through the excusal process again.  Oye!  Thank the powers that be for internet connection and lots of magazines in the holding pen. 

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I seriously hope that all of you find a little love in your hearts.  I know it's easy for me to be all laissez faire about it, but it's an important message.  I spent a long time hating myself, hating the way I looked, not taking care of myself the way I should have.  I gave my love away for so long because I didn't think it was worth anything and I thought it was the only way to get a little somethin somethin in return.  While my weight never stopped me from doing the things I wanted to do, my weight was a way of not dealing with all of the deep pain, rejection, insecurity and abandonment I had tucked away.  With all of that buried, there was no room to really just love.  Valentine's Day at the end of the day is whatever you want it to be.  It can be hearts and flowers and googly eyes with your honey and it can also be a moment to take stock of the people, places and things we hold near to us.

By the looks of things, there will be beaucoup downtime tomorrow as well.  With my birthday around the corner, I'm thinking a serious things I love post may be in order next.  A girl can dream can't she??